Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to the Happy Stack Podcast, where we explore the science and strategies behind creating a happier, more fulfilling life. I'm Terianne Richards and I partner with organizations to address the root causes of burnout, disengagement, and stress, equipping leaders and teams with the tools they need to thrive, both organizationally and personally. Each episode we dive into practical habits, insights, and strategies to help high performers like you level up from the inside out. Let's get stacking.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Happy Stack Podcast. I'm your host, Terianne Richards, and today I want to talk about something deeply personal and incredibly important.
Burnout.
You know, it's not just a word we throw around when we're tired.
It's that life altering, soul crushing experience that so many individuals go through and it can kind of sneak up on us if we're not paying attention.
And trust me when I say this, I know this, this story all too well because quite frankly, I've lived it about 15 years ago.
And I say 15, but give it or take, because my memory is just not what it used to be, folks.
I was at the peak of what, I don't know, society would call success.
And I'm doing air quotations right now. If you can picture that. You know, my business was thriving.
Things were going well, right? And from the outside looking in, everything looked perfect.
But on the inside, I was running on empty, right?
And I want to paint a picture for you.
I can remember vividly the day this happened. It was a few hours before I was hosting a Christmas party for, you know, staff and friends, and I started to feel dizzy and, you know, I sort of just pushed it off to the side, you know, no big deal, right? I'm dizzy. The show must go on. The event has to go on. I went into the grocery store and got the things for the party.
And I can remember driving home on the highway and as I was driving home, my eyes started to black out. So mind you, I'm still consciously alert and awake, but my eyes are kind of like not allowing me to see the road in front of me, right? So super scary. Thankfully, I make it home and I still go ahead and I have the event. But as the night's progressing, I'm feeling progressively worse.
And by the time I woke up the next morning, I could barely stand up. And as the day went on, if I stood up and tried to go from room A to room B, you know, I sort of did it sideways. My eyesight was coming in and out.
I kind of took it easy for, you know, that day and maybe a couple days and had some conversations with the doctor until they kind of made the decision to checked me into the hospital.
And I can remember, you know, they're doing blood tests and CAT scans and I think I went for an mri and they couldn't find anything wrong with me. Right? And I remember just sitting there, it was a couple weeks before my busiest season in my business, and here I am in the hospital, I got two kids at home, and nobody knows what's wrong with me. I think I'm dying. And it was just this ridiculous feeling, right? This feeling of, we work so hard, we chase all the things and, you know, the accolades and the success and all the stuff that you and I and most of the individuals that we know do, but none of it really matters when you're laying in a hospital bed.
And so I remember when the doctor came in and it was probably, I don't know how long I was in the hospital at that point, but I remember the doctor coming in and sitting beside me and saying, you know, I have some questions for you. You know, how many hours a week do you work?
I'm like, I don't know, like 70 hours maybe, you know, 60 on a good week, 80 on a bad week. You know, how's your nutrition?
My nutrition? I don't know. I drink a lot of coffee, you know, haha. And, you know, when I'm not working like a fiend, I, you know, go to the local fast food or the local restaurant and grab something really quick.
Would you say you're stressed? And I'm like laughing at this point at the doctor. Like, stressed? Yes. It's like, that's what I am in my business. I have two young kids at home. Of course I'm stressed. Anyway, he went on and asked me a bunch of different questions, and after, I don't know, a couple minutes, he said, well, I think we have a diagnosis for you. I'm like, okay, great. What is it says chronic stress, AKA burnout.
And I'm just like, what in. What do you mean?
Right? Like I am superwoman in, in my own eyes. My badge of honor was, you know, how you doing, Teriann? I'm busy. I'm busy. You know, life's. Life's good. I actually, like, I held that as, as a level of strength, right? Like that's, that's how strong I am and resilient I am that I can handle all these things, but there's this fundamental piece that I certainly was slapped upside my face. With is we might feel like we can handle a lot of things. And you know, some people like to use the word balance a lot of things or manage a lot of things. But the reality is there's only 168 hours in a week. Most of us have sort of this level of priorities, of things that we consider important.
And a lot of times it's for some odd reason, the things that are important to us are not our health until it's gone. Right? And I just remember, you know, get getting this diagnosis and just kind of feeling like this is ridiculous. Like my entire identity is built on this ability to do all of these things. And now you're telling me that my body has given up. The end result is it took me six months to recover. I think I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Took me six months, six months to recover. I can remember I couldn't drive forward in a car if another car was going the opposite way. Like severe vertigo. My memory has never come back.
But as I sat there and sort of maybe pouted for a bit and was really pissed off with this idea that this was happening to me, I remember feeling like, like deep down I knew better.
The reality is knowing and doing are two very different things, right?
And so that experience shook me. It could have cost me my company at that time.
It didn't.
That's for future stories because the company ended up failing it not too long after that anyway. But that was not specifically to the burnout. But that experience shaped the work I do today. There's a reason why I am so focused on the topics of resilience and reducing stress residue, as I put it, and kind of finding what the trajectory of your happiness is. Because I think what most of us are doing is we're chasing some version of success, but what we really want is to be happy. And so I've spent years, like years diving into the science of stress, the psychology of change, and how we recover and rebuild.
And here's what I've learned.
Burnout doesn't have to be the inevitable cost of living a go go go lifestyle. There actually is a better, proven, more sustainable way. And you know, through my own muck ups and then going and becoming a student of this and taking courses and researching the heck out of. Because let's be clear, I think I'm smart. I would assume a lot of people who go through a burnout are really smart people, but somehow they know better, they don't do better, and they end up losing health and having to take time off of work and maybe not being able to show up for important functions in their family, to me, that's an important moment for us all to kind of like go, hmm.
There's this process that I've developed called the S focused process. And really it's a framework that I use to align what I consider the three critical elements of a integrated life.
Soul, strength, and synergy. And so what I want to do is sort of break down for you what each of those are and maybe give you some pointers on things that you can reflect on and tactics, if you will, that you can put in place in your life that will allow you to avoid what I and a multitude of others have gone through. And hey, if you've already gone through this and you're coming out the other side and you're just trying to figure out, okay, how do I not do that again? Maybe some of this will land with you. So, soul, are you connected to your values and your purpose?
Think of this as the foundation.
If you're not connected to what truly matters to you, you're building a life on shaky ground.
To me, your values and what you stand for is the foundation of your house. You. Right. And if you build that on hay or loose sand, the whole thing comes tumbling down.
And so some questions that I think sort of help you figure out, are you connected to that is, well, what's driving your decisions right now? Are you doing it as I have in the past because of fomo fear of missing out? Are you doing it because society has told you that's the next right move for you? Or are you doing it because it's something that you are innately and internally passionate about? It's something that's important to you because making decisions based on fear, pressure, or obligation is a sure fire way to. To build a house on loose sand and then think of your core values. And I don't know why I used to think this was so woo woo or frou frou or some ridiculous repetitive word I can say to go, like, what are your core values? But now I rec. Like, I literally understand, like if you got in a car and you were about to go to a direction that you've never been in your entire life before, you would put the address in your GPS and you would allow it to dictate the direction you need to go to end up where you want to go.
And for some odd reason, we don't seem to think that that's as important in terms of where we're trying to end up on an annual basis, on a lifetime basis.
Well, if I know where I want to end up is X and the who I am, what I stand for is Y, then why wouldn't I put that in to my gps? Why wouldn't my decisions be based on who I am and where I'm going? So I think it's super important to know what your core values are and not just know what they are, but, like, what does it mean for you to be living in your core values? Like, I'll share my four. I just did my core value exercise not too long ago, but the four for me are curiosity, creativity, courage, and connection.
And so the questions I ask myself, you know, for curiosity, am I staying open to learning and am I exploring new perspectives? In other words, am I stuck in my old ways and I have my blinders up, or. Or am I open to having conversations that may be opposite to what I believe in that moment or opposite to what I understand? Am I open to having those kind of conversations? Am I open to learning new things? Right, because everything I believe today is based on what I've learned yesterday. But am I open? And so I.
My. One of my core values is curiosity. And then for creativity, how can I bring fresh ideas or innovative solutions to the things that I'm doing? Again, kind of playing off of curiosity is, you know, am I open to learning, but am I open to bringing fresh ideas and innovation to the way I work with my clients, to the way I stand up on. On a stage? You know, you think of AI and how it sort of has. Has come into the world. Am I open to using that to allow me to be more creative? And then there's courage. Like, am I leaning in to bravery even when it's uncomfortable? Am I willing to do the hard things? And then lastly, it's connection. Am I nurturing the relationships that matter to me? And am I showing up authentically in those relationships and in interactions?
So I challenge you to take a moment today to reflect on your own core values and are you connected to what truly matters for you?
Then there's strength. Are you nurturing your physical and mental energy? Here's the truth.
You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Strength is not about, you know, becoming full on biceps, but if you want to, you can do that. But strength's about, like, replenishing your physical and mental reserves so you can show up fully for yourself and others.
You've only got, as far as I know, one life to live. This is the vessel, this is the body that you have. Whatever it is you're chasing as a leader, as an entrepreneur, as a professional.
It ain't gonna happen unless you take care of you, the vessel. And so this might mean, I don't know, prioritizing sleep, saying no to over committing, taking 10 minutes a day to do deep breathing, going for a walk. You know, they say, what is it? 15 minutes of a brisk walk a day helps to release something they've dubbed hope molecules. You know, releasing all those happy hormones into your bloodstream and into your body so that you can think more positively and feel better. And so this isn't about the big, big changes. This is about, you know, starting small. And consistency is the key. And then lastly, is synergy.
Are your actions aligned with your priorities?
This is where the magic happens. Synergy is about making sure your day to day choices align with what truly matters to you. If I think back all those years ago when I burnt out, if you would have asked me what matters to me, I would have said my kids.
I would have said things like my health, which would have been a complete lie because I was working 60, 70, 80 hours a week. I was missing my daughter's soccer practices, I was not going to the gym, I was not eating healthy. And so synergy is about making sure your day to day choices align with what truly matters to you.
Take a look at your calendar. Does it reflect your priorities? If family health or self care are important, are they showing up? Do they have time blocks in your calendar? And if not, it's time to realign.
You know, when I think back to my burnout, I realize I was out of alignment in all three areas. My soul was disconnected from my purpose. My strength, both physically and mentally, was depleted, and my actions did not reflect my priorities.
But the good news is, once I started addressing those gaps, everything for me began to shift.
And here's the caveat, here's the truth. I'm not saying it was easy, and I'm not saying I haven't repeated that exact same mistake a few times. For some odd reason, I like to hit my head up against a very hard wall and learn things the hard way.
Growth, in my opinion, rarely is easy. It requires consistency, it requires determination. It definitely requires grit and resilience.
But if you're willing to do the hard stuff, commit, start small.
And if you focus on your soul, your strength and your synergy, you'll be able to build a life that it kind of feels good to live it. And it's not just on the outside looking in, but where it matters most from the inside looking out.
And so I certainly hope that this episode, what I'm talking about, is resonating with you.
I guess I'll leave you with this. My question for you is, you know, are you living in alignment with your soul, your strength, your synergy, or are you running on empty, waiting for life to knock you against the wall before you make a change?
If I've learned anything in life is the pace in which we go at things without replenishing is not sustainable. You only have one life, one body, one chance to live it in a way that feels meaningful and fulfilling.
Don't wait for burnout to wake you up. Take a pause, reflect, and look at this as an investment in yourself. Because the reality is, you are worth it. And if you don't believe that personally, there is somebody out there who cares about you that will say it for you because you are worth it to them.
Anyway, if this landed with you, let's start a conversation about sustainable success, about finding happiness and joy and fulfillment, and looking at those three areas of your soul, your strength, and your synergy.
[00:20:08] Speaker A: Hey, thanks for listening to the Happy Stack podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little extra happiness in their life. Let's keep stacking those wins together.
[00:20:21] Speaker B: See you next time.
