Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Welcome to the Happy Stack Podcast, where we explore the science and strategies behind creating a happier, more fulfilling life. I'm Teriann Richards and I partner with organizations to address the root causes of burnout, disengagement, and stress, equipping leaders and teams with the tools they need to thrive, both organizationally and personally. Each episode we dive into practical habits, insights, and strategies to help high performers like you level up from the inside out. Let's get stacking.
[00:00:34] So you're showing up, you're hitting your deadlines, you're checking off those goals, and people keep telling you, wow. I don't know how you do it all, but here's the truth, something that I can totally recognize because I've been there.
[00:00:49] You're exhausted and you're probably emotionally flatlined, and the only reason you keep going is it's because you don't actually know how to stop.
[00:00:59] Today's episode is for the high functioners, the ones who get praised for their output while quietly falling apart inside.
[00:01:07] Today I want to talk about the burnout that you do not see coming.
[00:01:11] When we picture burnout, we think of someone curled up in a bed. They can't work, they can't move. They're crying, they're shutting down.
[00:01:19] But for a lot of high achievers, burnout does not look like collapse. It looks like overdrive. It looks like still hitting your goals but feeling nothing after.
[00:01:31] Shorter fuse with people that you love, people at home losing interest in the things that used to bring you joy, staying up late, scrolling because you can't wind down, and feeling like you're watching your life instead of actually living it.
[00:01:48] It's burnout, but it's got some real nice lipstick on.
[00:01:53] And it's burnout because, well, your calendar's still full. And here's why. This sneaks up on people like you and me.
[00:02:02] We were taught to override the signals, push through pain, delay the rest, celebrate stress as a badge of honor. And when your identity is tied to achievement, slowing down, a lot of times can feel like failure.
[00:02:18] So instead of pausing, you double down on productivity. You say yes when you really meant to say no.
[00:02:25] You smile through the fatigue, and you tell yourself that this is just a season again. But I want to say this clearly. Sustainable performance does not require you to abandon yourself.
[00:02:39] I remember a few years ago, I was running a full client load, managing events, speaking at keynotes, juggling all the things that come with just being a freaking human.
[00:02:49] And there were a lot of times that I would just kind of wake up feeling meh I wasn't crying in a corner, wasn't curled up in a corner. I wasn't falling apart.
[00:02:59] But there was a lot of that joy that I had that just felt gone.
[00:03:05] The presence, the motivation, the umph that you feel, the pep in your step, it kind of all just flatlined. But I did not stop because I was functioning.
[00:03:17] And functioning a lot of times gets praised. People have called me inspiring, but in a lot of ways, on the inside I was fraying. I've worked with leaders making 400k, 5mil, 10mil, doesn't matter in terms of their salary, the revenue of the company, but they could not feel joy, they could not feel fulfilled entrepreneurs who are running successful teams, but they felt like a complete freaking fraud.
[00:03:45] People who are doing all the right things, but they don't feel anything.
[00:03:52] That is high functioning burnout and it is not sustainable. We got one life to live.
[00:04:00] That ain't the life that any of us want to be living.
[00:04:04] So I want to break down what's happening biologically.
[00:04:08] When you push through chronic stress without recovery, your body floods with cortisol and over time your system kind of desensitizes. That's when fatigue sets in. You might be wired at night, but then exhausted during the day. You get sick more often because your immune system is just completely mocked. Your hrv, your heart rate variability, well, it tanks. Your sleep quality crashes. You feel on, but like not alive. And your brain starts to adapt to that.
[00:04:42] So you start to disconnect from joy, which is depletion. You feel less empathy. You go into this functional freeze.
[00:04:52] Not flight, not fight, just go, go through the motions.
[00:04:59] And that's why I guess in a lot of ways, burnout doesn't always look as dramatic as we think it's supposed to. Sometimes it literally looks like nothing at all. The kind of burnout, it cost you more than your sleep. It cost you the depth of your relationships, the quality and clarity of your decisions, your creativity and your intuition, your ability to enjoy success once you finally reach it.
[00:05:25] And you know, in a lot of ways, I think the most tragic thing that I've seen both in myself over the years or in high performing leaders that I coach, it costs you the chance to feel proud of the life you are living while you are living it.
[00:05:44] Now for the part you came here for, how do you spot it? How do you stop it? How do you shift from it? Right, Number one, name what's real.
[00:05:51] Stop gaslighting yourself by saying it's not that bad. If you feel disconnected from yourself, depleted or emotionally flatlined. I'm just going to say this right out loud. It matters. So write it down. Say it out loud. Name it. Literally name it. To tame it, y' all, like, you need to name what is real in your life. What are you feeling? What are you going through?
[00:06:12] Number two, you need to redefine what success looks like in this season. Because sometimes success is not growth.
[00:06:20] Every single person I speak to is always thinking about, like, what's the next thing? The promotion, the next level in business?
[00:06:26] Because we've been conditioned to do that. Because the truth of the matter is that's not always what the next right move is. Sometimes it's recovery. Your nervous system does not care about your KPIs, but it does care about safety and peace and rest.
[00:06:45] Number three, you need to switch from overdrive to output. Let me break this down for you. If you've been working 14 hour days or 80 hour weeks, pull it back by 10%, 20%, not zero. Pull it back. Focus on the output, not the hours.
[00:07:06] So quality, not quantity. And use energy tracking, not just time tracking. And when I say that, what I'm saying is how are you feeling throughout the day? Morning, afternoon, evening.
[00:07:20] When you wake up after a busy day, you know, the next day, like, what are you feeling? Because the same way that I make decisions on a day to day basis, how hard I can go at the gym is the same way we need to be making decisions on how hard we can go in business and in leadership and in the professional realm.
[00:07:38] Number four, add joy reps into your day. Joy is a muscle. And muscles can be built right. Like you go to the gym, you may not be able to lift 50 pounds today, but I bet you you could lift three and then maybe five, and then maybe 15.
[00:07:54] Joy is the same way. It is a muscle. And when you are burned out or on the precipice of being burnt out, you a lot of times lose touch with the simple pleasures of life.
[00:08:06] So whatever it is that brings you joy, for me it's music, it's going for a walk in nature. Maybe for you it's, you know, watching the sky, reading a good book. Start with five minutes. I know for people who are in high functioning spaces, a lot of times carving out big chunks of time seems very overwhelming. So let's just start with five minutes.
[00:08:27] Number five, I want you to strengthen your boundaries. Burnout thrives when your boundaries are weak. So Arduino, audit. I want you to audit where you say yes out of fear, out of guilt, out of keeping up with the Joneses out of image and just start saying no with like truth and authenticity and love.
[00:08:48] Number six, get support before you have the crash.
[00:08:52] You do not need. I'm just gonna say this even louder. You do not need to earn rest.
[00:08:59] You don't need to fall apart to finally ask for help. Whether it's a therapist, a coach, a peer circle man you hanging out with. You get some support in some way, do the nervous system reset. Ask for help. Whatever the door is, just walk through it. Because I promise you it's worth it.
[00:09:24] Let me say this directly.
[00:09:26] If you're doing everything right and still feeling dead inside and that is not normal.
[00:09:32] That is a tell a tale sign of high functioning burnout.
[00:09:39] You will not be lazy if you take rest.
[00:09:42] You're not weak if you ask for help.
[00:09:45] But maybe it's time to be done carrying what was never meant to be carried alone.
[00:09:52] You, my friends, deserve to heal and you deserve to do that without having to quit everything and burn it all down.
[00:09:59] You were born to live. If this episode hit close to home, please pause, take one minute and ask yourself, what do I need more of this week? Maybe it's support. Maybe it's stillness. Maybe it's silliness. Maybe it's sleep. Maybe it's softness. And what do you need less of? Noise over commitment?
[00:10:20] Self abandonment. And then I want you to just act on one small shift today. Because happiness is not found, it is built. And it's built one aligned choice at a time. Thank you so much for listening.
[00:10:32] Hey, thanks for listening to the Happy Stack podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little extra happiness in their life. Let's keep stacking those wins together. See you next time.
