Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to the Happy Stack Podcast, where we explore the science and strategies behind creating a happier, more fulfilling life. I'm Terianne Richards and I partner with organizations to address the root causes of burnout, disengagement and stress, equipping leaders and.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: Teams with the tools they need to.
[00:00:19] Speaker A: Thrive, both organizationally and personally. Each episode we dive into practical habits, insights and strategies to help high performers like you level up from the inside out.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: Let's get stacking.
Hey there, Happy Stackers. Welcome back to the Happy Stack Podcast. I'm your host, Terianne Richards. And today we are diving into something that affects every single one of us as leaders, entrepreneurs, and honestly, just as humans trying to do our best in this wild world. We're Talking about that 50 pound potato sack that you've been lugging around on your back. You know the one I'm talking about? All those past mistakes, all the regrets, all the trauma, the disappointments, anytime you fell flat on your assets that you're still carrying with you into every meeting, every decision, and even every relationship.
Let's get real for a second.
We've all got baggage, every single one of us. And in the leadership space, we're often told just to push through it or, I don't know, leave it at the door. But here's the truth. That stuff doesn't just disappear because you've decided to ignore it. It shows up in how you lead, how you communicate, how you and how you make decisions.
The question isn't whether you have baggage. It's whether you're going to let it continue to weigh you down or if you're finally going to set that heavy potato sack down and walk taller.
I remember years ago when I was running one of my companies, I was working insane hours, like burning the candle at both ends, making decisions from a place of scarcity rather than abundance.
Why? Because somewhere deep inside of me, I was still the little girl who grew up with uncertainty. I watched my father's life get taken away. I experienced trauma that made me believe I always had to hustle and grind just to survive. I was carrying a 50 pound potato sack on my back while I was trying to sprint a marathon. And let me tell you, it does not work. In my book, Success Takes Courage, I talk about how making peace with your past is the first key to what I would consider true success.
And it's not a fluffy idea. It really is the foundation of effective leadership and, you know, quite honestly, effective life. Think about it this way. How could you possibly lead others with clarity when your own Vision is clouded by whatever hurts from the past.
How could you possibly make strategic decisions when you are exhausted from carrying all that weight? How could you possibly inspire your team when you, my friend, are not even showing up as your full, authentic self? The workplace, in my opinion, is this fascinating arena where our past shows up in the most unexpected ways.
Maybe, I don't know, maybe for you, you micromanage your team because you were once betrayed by a colleague. Maybe you avoid conflict because growing up conflict meant danger. Maybe you work yourself to the bone because somewhere along the way you internalize the message that your worth is tied to your productivity. And these patterns, well, they don't just affect you, they affect everyone around you. Your team, your clients, and your organization's culture.
I'll never forget this moment of clarity I had during a leadership retreat was facilitating. I was working with this brilliant CEO, let's call him Mark. Mark was technically excellent, like sound strategically brilliant, but his team was so disengaged and turnover was high.
As we dug deeper, it became super clear that Mark was leading from a place of deep seated fear.
He had been part of a failed startup earlier in his career where he felt humiliated and blindsided. And now, years later, he was still making decisions to protect himself from that same pain. Hoarding information, questioning everyone's motives, and never fully trusting his team. His past wasn't just affecting him, it was creating a culture of fear and mistrust that was costing his company's talent, innovation and growth.
So how do we put down this 50 pound potato sack? How do we as leaders make peace with our past so we can lead from a place of freedom rather than fear? Well, it starts with acceptance. Not acceptance that what happened was okay, but acceptance that it happened and that it's shaped you, it's shaped who you are. It's about naming all the emotions that are attached to those past events. Anger, guilt, shame, fear. And recognizing them for what they are. They are emotions. They are not facts.
Here is a practice, if you will, that I take my leadership clients through. That you can try literally right now. Well, maybe not right now because you might be driving. So you can try when you are sitting down in a safe environment. What I want you to do is grab a piece of paper and write down the past experiences that you know are still affecting how you show up as a leader and as a human. Because let's be clear, you are a multifaceted human. And you might sit on boards, you might be a parent, a spouse, a community leader, a leader in an organization. There are so many different parts of you. And guess what? You and everything that you are carrying, that 50 pound bag of potatoes, it shows up. So it's not just in leadership. So I want you to grab a piece of paper and write down the past experiences that you know are still affecting you. Maybe it's a failure, maybe it's a betrayal, a loss, and sometimes it's even a success that came at too high of a cost. And so now you might be potentially getting in your own way of your next version of success because of the fear from what happened before.
So as you're writing it down and you have your list for each one, I want you to ask yourself, what emotion is still attached to this?
What am I still carrying from this experience and how is it showing up in my leadership today?
And then, and this is the crucial part, ask yourself this, what would be possible if I set this down right here, right now? How might I lead differently? What energy would I have available for innovation, for connection, for growth?
One of the most powerful shifts I've seen in leaders is when they realize that their past experiences can be transformed from burdens into wisdom. Your challenges haven't just been obstacles. They have been in a lot of ways. Your teachers and the failure taught you resilience. Guess what? You're still here. Are you a little broken, a little hurt, a little different? 100%, but you're still here. See, that conflict taught you communication.
That loss taught you empathy.
When you make peace with your past, you're not erasing it.
You alchemize it. You turn the lead into gold. You transform your wounds into wisdom. That makes you a more insightful, more compassionate and a better and more effective leader.
Now, I know some of you are thinking, but Teriann, my past made me who I am. My drive comes from overcoming those challenges. And you can't see me right now, but my hand is high in the sky. I definitely have been that person. My past made me who I am, is what I used to say.
But if I let go of my anger and my fear, does that mean I'm going to lose my edge?
Here's the truth. I completely hear you and here's what I know to be true. When you make peace with your past, it doesn't mean losing that drive. It means channeling that energy in a more intentional and sustainable way.
So it's the difference between running a marathon with a 50 pound potato sack on your back versus running it with the proper gear and fuel.
So which runner do you think is going to not only Finish the race, but enjoy the journey and have energy left to celebrate it at the finish line. It's going to be the one who's running with proper gear and fuel, not the one with the 50 pound potato sack on their back. It's just not sustainable.
As leaders, when we do this inner work, something, I don't know, magical happens. In our organizations, we create psychological safety because we're no longer projecting our fears onto our teams. We make decisions based on present opportunities rather than past threats. We build cultures where people can bring their whole selves to work because, well, we're finally bringing our whole selves to work. I've seen teams transform when their leaders do the work. It's why everything I teach, everything I preach about, everything I talk about is about inside out leadership. It all starts on that work that, I don't know, a lot of us still think is woo or not for us or I don't need that. But you can literally transform everything around you because you did the work. And suddenly innovation flows because people aren't afraid to take risks. And communication opens up because there's trust. Productivity increases. Not because people are working more hours, but because they're working with more focus and purpose.
So my challenge to you is just to identify that one thing. It doesn't have to be all of it. I mean, let's be clear. Life's a journey and there's a whole lot of crap from our past. And some of the past is 20 years ago and some of it's last fricking week. You know, we've been married, we've been divorced, we've been fired, we've been promoted, we've been demoted, we've seen people we care about get hurt and have loss. And there's just so many things that have happened in our world that if we don't pause to take a look at it, it literally can affect every aspect of our life and especially those areas where we show up as a leader.
So my challenge is for you to just identify one thing from your past that you're still carrying into your leadership. Just one, name it. Like, what is the emotion that you have attached to it? Feel the emotion, because we're not talking about stuffing this stuff down in your gut. And then I want you to make a consc. Decision to set it down. And that requires work, right? This doesn't happen overnight. It is a practice. I am still doing the work. But even just the awareness that you are carrying this 50 pound potato sack, this weight, it's the first step to freedom.
Remember, your past has shaped you, but it doesn't have to define you or your leadership. You get to decide what you carry forward and what you leave behind.
I want you to sort of visualize this idea of like walking into your next meeting, the next chaotic, challenging moment, your next opportunity without that 50 pound potato sack on your back. Imagine the energy you'll have. Imagine the clarity that you're gonna bring, and imagine the impact that you could have. Imagine. That is what's possible when you have the courage to make peace with your past.
Listen, I would love to hear what resonated with you from today's episode. What's one past experience that you're ready to transform from a burden into wisdom? Drop me a message on LinkedIn or leave a comment on this episode until next time. Keep stacking that happiness one courageous step at a time. Peace, love and grit.
[00:14:06] Speaker A: Hey, thanks for listening to the Happy Stack Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little extra happiness in their life. Let's keep stacking those wins together.
[00:14:18] Speaker B: See you next time.
