Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Welcome to The Happy Stack Podcast, where we explore the science and strategies behind creating a happier, more fulfilling life. I'm Teriann Richards and I partner with organizations to address the root causes of burnout, disengagement, and stress. Equipping leaders and teams with the tools they need to thrive, both organizationally and personally. Each episode we dive into practical habits, insights, and strategies to help high performers like you level up from the inside out. Let's get stacking.
[00:00:33] You know what's fascinating?
[00:00:35] I don't even know I'm using that word. You know what's interesting?
[00:00:39] People will wear exhaustion, busyness like a badge of honor right up until the moment their nervous system starts acting like a raccoon trapped in a garbage can. I don't know about you, but I live in the country and we've got some raccoons. And I have opened that can and seen that little bitty raccoon looking back at me because he got stuck in there eating my compost the day before. And these folks that wear exhaustion like a badge of honor, and then suddenly they're confused, right? I don't know why I snapped. I don't know why I'm so emotional. I'm crying. I don't know why everything feels so heavy, so hard lately.
[00:01:21] Meanwhile, Your brain has 42 tabs open, and yes, I'm talking to you. Your body is running on caffeine and cortisol. Hey, you haven't sat in silence since the invention of the Bluetooth.
[00:01:37] And your Apple watch is basically begging you to just sit down, calm down.
[00:01:42] But sure, let's pretend that the problem is everybody else or it's your personality.
[00:01:49] I think one of the biggest lies we've told humans, we've told societies, is this idea that if you're emotionally reacting to life, there must be something wrong with you.
[00:02:01] And my answer to that is no.
[00:02:04] Sometimes your reaction is information and sometimes your system is overloaded. That's a big difference.
[00:02:13] We are living in a world where humans are carrying levels of stimulation, pressure, noise, uncertainty, and emotional load that the human brain was never, I repeat, never designed to process all day long.
[00:02:29] Your nervous system does not know the difference between an angry email, financial stress, relationship tension, constant notifications and bings and tings and sleep deprivation and doom scrolling and being chased by a tiger.
[00:02:45] At the end of the day, stress is stress to the body, right? And your brain is just keeping tabs. It's just keeping score. And eventually, right, those bills become due.
[00:02:56] And that's why when someone cuts you off in traffic, and suddenly you're staring in, you know, in the eye of danger, or you feel like you're starring in a fast and furious, you know, emotional damage addition.
[00:03:10] It was never about the traffic.
[00:03:13] It was never about even that moment. It was this compound effect, this accumulation.
[00:03:20] And I think that's what people miss. Humans think breakdowns happen because of one big thing. And let's be clear, some of the times, it is one big thing that knocks us on our assets.
[00:03:30] But most of the time, it's death by a thousand invisible paper cuts. Tiny stressors, tiny pressures, little emotional hits, little moments where you have abandoned yourself, your values. Moments where your body says, like, I need to rest. I need to tap out. And your brain says, anyway, right?
[00:03:52] And we override ourselves constantly, and then we're shocked when the system starts to malfunction.
[00:04:00] And you know what's wild is research shows chronic stress actually shrinks part of the brain associated with emotional regulation, memory, decision making.
[00:04:11] Meaning the more overloaded you are, right, the less capable you become of handling overload. Which explains why people suddenly feel irrational or emotional or forgetful, reactive, numb, overwhelmed by the things that five years ago they were handling easily.
[00:04:36] It's not that the system is not strong or weak. It's that the system is taxed. And there's a difference between that, right?
[00:04:48] And honestly, I think we've normalized this level of pressure that is making humans quietly unwell.
[00:04:57] People are answering emails while eating lunch, while listening to podcasts, while watching the TV while checking text messages, while thinking about what they need to do tomorrow, tomorrow and next week and next year, while never actually being where their feet are, which is in the present moment.
[00:05:13] Your brain is not a browser with unlimited ram.
[00:05:19] And at some point, the wheel starts to spin.
[00:05:22] And then people say things like, well, like, I need to get through to next Tuesday, or I just need to push harder or, you know, it'll all be done in September.
[00:05:34] No, you probably actually need less input.
[00:05:39] And, I mean, I feel like I'm speaking to the choir. And, like, let's be clear, I gotta drink this Kool Aid a lot myself. And I know this is not sizzling, sexy advice nobody wants to hear. Maybe your answer to all of the world's issues in. In your home right now is sleep or boundaries or borders or silence or saying no or not carrying everybody else's emotional baggage like you're the, you know, unpaid therapist of the day.
[00:06:14] But here we are, right?
[00:06:16] And you know what I've noticed with people?
[00:06:19] Most humans are trying to solve nervous system problems with productivity strategies.
[00:06:25] That's like trying to fix a broken ankle with a better calendar. It's the wrong tool.
[00:06:32] If your body feels unsafe, your brain changes, your patience changes, your relationships change and struggle, your sleep changes and struggles, your cravings change, the way you communicate, that style of communication changes. Everything changes when your body feels unsafe. And then people start making identity statements about themselves like I'm too emotional or I'm falling apart, I'm bad at coping, I'm lazy. And the reality is, is maybe that's true.
[00:07:08] Or maybe your internal load is exceeding your current capacity. And that's a much more accurate conversation, right?
[00:07:21] And here's the part that I just don't think we're talking about enough.
[00:07:26] Some of the most quote unquote successful people you know are wildly dysregulated, high functioning, abso freaking lutely healthy.
[00:07:38] Different conversation.
[00:07:39] There are people out there right now and maybe you're one of them crushing, freaking crushing their goals while their nervous system is hanging on by quite literally a thread held together with caffeine, perfectionism and blind ambition.
[00:07:59] Newsflash for all of you.
[00:08:01] That's not strength.
[00:08:03] That is you walking around with your really awesome looking red shoes, your amazing black blazer.
[00:08:13] But you're in survival mode.
[00:08:15] And at some point we have to stop glamorizing exhaustion and start asking, what is all this pressure costing us?
[00:08:25] Because at some point pressure leaks, right? It leaks, it dribbles, it flips into other spaces, right? It leaks into our relationships and into how we parent and how we lead, into our health. And quite frankly, it leaks into our joy.
[00:08:45] And people don't suddenly lose themselves overnight. That's not something that happens. Parts of us start to disappear in inches, one override at a time.
[00:08:56] And I think part of becoming an emotionally intelligent human is learning to recognize your own signals before your body has to freaking scream like irritation. Your numbness, your procrastination, your inability to focus, that exhaustion you're feeling, your short freaking fuse, that is not your character.
[00:09:18] That is data.
[00:09:20] Because the body talks, we just suck at listening.
[00:09:24] Most people just wait until it's yelling at us to pay attention. And a lot of times, and I'm not going to say it's too late, but a lot of times in those moments, that's where everything seems to be crashing around you.
[00:09:37] And so maybe this, today is your reminder, your wake up call, your yellow and orange flag before the red flag comes, that you are not living in a space where you're confused or crazy for feeling overloaded in a world that never stops making noise and talking.
[00:09:59] Maybe the goal for you isn't doing more, baby, isn't it? It's not, you know, trying to figure out how to be productive. Maybe it's not becoming stronger, tougher, whatever. Maybe the goal is just learning to build from the inside out, to build that internal capacity to handle the pressure. That's going to continue to happen, right? There's so much outside of us that's just going to continue to happen that we don't have the control over. And for you ambitious folks out there, you're gonna keep chasing the goals. That's not going to stop. So let's build from the inside out that internal capacity so that you can build in a way that doesn't make you abandon yourself in the process.
[00:10:41] Humans are not machines. We are not machines.
[00:10:47] And the cost of pretending we are is getting higher and higher every single year.
[00:10:57] So that's my challenge to you. I want you to look at your world. I want you to consider, where are you leaking?
[00:11:04] Where are these parts of the fact that you have abandoned yourself, maybe last week, but maybe 10 years ago, has started to leak into other areas of your life. Your health, your mental health, your sleep, your relationships. The way you show up for the people you care about.
[00:11:23] And I want you to slowly start shifting the way you show up so that you build that internal capacity so you can just continue to handle and do the cool things that you're doing.
[00:11:34] Have an amazing day, everybody. Peace.
[00:11:38] Hey, thanks for listening to The Happy Stack podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little extra happiness in their life. Let's keep stacking those wins together. See you next time.
